If you’ve ever stood in your own home wondering if you’re doing this “right,” you’re in good company. After years of helping people style their spaces I’ve noticed the same questions come up over and over again.
And every time, I’m reminded of something: decorating isn’t actually the hard part. Trusting yourself is.
So let’s talk about the three questions I get asked more than anything else and the honest answers I always give.
1. “How do I mix old and new without it looking like a mess?”
This one comes up constantly. And I get it. You’ve got your grandmother’s crystal vase, a vintage mirror you scored at an estate sale, and a brand new sofa. How do you make all of that live together without your room feeling like a time machine exploded?
Here’s what I tell everyone: stop trying to match.
I know that sounds backwards, but the rooms that feel the most put together are the ones that look collected over time not the ones where everything was bought in one trip from the same store.
The secret is connection, not coordination.
Look for the threads that tie pieces together. Maybe it’s a color that repeats the warm wood tone of your vintage dresser showing up again in a modern lamp base. Maybe it’s texture, the patina on an old brass candlestick playing off the brushed gold hardware on a newer piece. Sometimes it’s just a feeling and pieces that all have a little soul to them.
That vintage piece you’re nervous about? It’s probably the thing that’s going to make your room interesting. New furniture can be beautiful, but old pieces are what give a space its story.
2. “Where do I even start?”
Oh, this one. I can hear the overwhelm the second someone asks it. They’ve been scrolling Pinterest for hours, they’ve got 47 saved boards, and somehow they’re more confused than when they started.
Here’s my honest answer: start with what you already love.
Not what you think you should love. Not what’s trending. What actually makes you happy when you look at it.
Walk through your home and find three things that make you smile. Maybe it’s a worn wooden bowl your mom gave you. Maybe it’s a piece of art you picked up on a trip. Maybe it’s something as simple as your favorite coffee mug.
Those things? That’s your starting point. That’s your style trying to tell you something.
Decorating isn’t about scrapping everything and building a magazine perfect room from scratch. It’s about paying attention to what you’re already drawn to and building from there. Your home should feel like an extension of you not a showroom and not a copy of someone else’s space.
When people tell me they “don’t have a style,” I don’t believe them. You absolutely do. You just haven’t given yourself permission to trust it yet.
3. “Is it okay if I ___________?”
Fill in the blank with just about anything.
Is it okay if I mix metals?
Is it okay if I don’t have matching nightstands?
Is it okay if I hang something unexpected on my wall?
Is it okay if I use something in a way it wasn’t intended?
My answer is almost always the same: yes. Do it.
Here’s the thing about decorating “rules” most of them were made up by people trying to sell you more stuff. The idea that everything has to match helps furniture stores, not you.
The most interesting homes I’ve ever been in broke at least a dozen so called rules. They had mismatched chairs around the dining table. They used a vintage ladder as a blanket rack. They hung art lower than “eye level” because that’s where it looked right in their space.
Your home isn’t a test you can fail. There’s no decorating police coming to check if your throw pillows coordinate.
If something makes you happy, tells part of your story, and makes your space feel more like you, that’s not breaking a rule. That’s the whole point.
The Real Secret Nobody Talks About
Here’s what I’ve learned after years of doing this: the homes that feel the best aren’t the most expensive or the most perfectly styled. They’re the ones where people gave themselves permission to trust their own taste.
They mixed the vintage piece with the new one. They started with what they already loved instead of throwing everything out. They stopped asking for permission and just decorated with connection so there is a natural flow.
Your home should feel collected, not decorated. Lived-in, not staged. Like you, not like everyone else.
That’s what I’m always trying to help people understand. And honestly, most of the time, you already know what you want. You just need someone to tell you it’s okay to go for it.
So consider this your permission slip.
Have a decorating question I didn’t cover? I love hearing from you. Drop me a message and let's chat.
